Every October, Sierra Community House observes Domestic Violence Awareness Month. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner. Our communities in North Lake Tahoe and Truckee are not immune to these issues which is why it is important to recognize the signs and offer your support. Here are five effective ways to be there for survivors:
1. Recognize the signs
Be aware of behaviors like constant criticism, extreme jealousy, and making unilateral decisions about work or finances. Pressure into unwanted sexual activity or substance use, along with intimidation through threatening looks or insults about parenting, can indicate danger. Access to weapons can further increase the risk.
2. Offer Resources
Once you have recognized that someone is experiencing domestic violence, you can refer them to our services and encourage them to develop a safety plan. Providing them with information on signs of abuse, how to file a restraining order and more, can be incredibly valuable.
3. Create a Safety Plan Together
Taking time to develop a safety plan is important and can be a great way to give your friend confidence. Start by making a list of essential items to pack and finding a safe place for them to go, like a friend’s house or a shelter. Because leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous period where essential services are crucial, remind them that having a clear, well-thought-out plan is crucial for their safety.
4. Encourage Self-Care and Wellness
Since living in an abusive relationship can take a significant toll on one’s mental and physical health, motivate your friend to engage in self-care. This might include exercise, hobbies, relaxation techniques, or spending time with supportive people. Remind them that taking care of themselves is important and that it’s okay to seek professional help, such as therapy, to support their healing process.
5. Respect Their Decisions and Timing
It’s essential to respect your friend’s decisions and timing, even if you wish they would leave the abusive relationship sooner. Leaving an abusive relationship is often a complex and dangerous process, so support them by acknowledging their autonomy and offering encouragement, while being patient and understanding throughout their journey.
Supporting a friend in a domestic violence relationship requires sensitivity and compassion. By creating a safety plan, assisting with resources, providing a safe space for conversations, encouraging self-care, and respecting their choices, you can offer meaningful and impactful support. Remember, Sierra Community House is here to help. Call the 24-hour community helpline at (800) 736-1060 if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or sexual violence.
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