I’m Ashley Duke, the school coordinator for Sierra Community House’s Violence Prevention Education Team. I have the privilege of working closely with school counselors and wellness staff to coordinate and teach violence prevention education and youth empowerment groups for Kindergarten through 12th grade students in our region. Our presentations are designed to build on the same core values year after year in age appropriate ways. We cover a variety of topics including child abuse prevention, alternatives to anger, bullying prevention, intimate partner violence, sexual harassment and assault prevention, consent, and healthy relationships. Our goal is to empower students with the knowledge and skills they need to keep themselves and others safe, healthy, and happy!
As we gear up for the new school year, the Prevention Team is eager to put our summer planning into action! One of our most exciting initiatives focuses on online safety and wellness. Back-to-school time is an excellent opportunity to reconnect and set healthy boundaries with technology, which may have loosened during the summer months. Here are three quick tips for using ‘Motivational Interviewing’ techniques to spark meaningful conversations with your child about media use:
- Take a moment to pause – in this busy and hectic world, it’s easy to forget to check in on our own thoughts and feelings, which can lead to jumping to conclusions. Adults tend to assume that technology makes children distracted and disengaged. Pausing allows you to simply notice, without making hasty judgments, and provides your nervous system with the break it needs to communicate more effectively.
- Lead with curiosity – Many of us have wondered why children are so drawn to their devices, but how often do we take a moment to ask them why that is? Showing interest in their preferences creates the opportunity for them to share their thoughts and feelings, as well as explore their own motivations behind technology use. Listening with empathy can turn potential conflicts into meaningful conversations.
- Listen for “change talk” – many children (teens especially) recognize they spend too much time online and understand the impact it has on their schoolwork, sleep, and overall well-being. Use this awareness to help them explore solutions that create a balance between media use and other life priorities. Reflect on their concerns and ask open-ended questions to guide them in discovering coping strategies and setting personal boundaries.
EXAMPLE:
Change Talk: “Yea, I know I scroll too long and have a hard time falling asleep”
Reflection: “It sounds like you’re thinking about how to find balance between using your phone and getting good sleep. You recognize how hard it can be to pull yourself away.
Empathy: You’re definitely not alone in that. I have a hard time myself.”
Open-Ended Question: “I’ve seen you be able to put your phone down before. When that happens, what’s usually the reason?”
Wishing you a wonderful start to the new school year! For more tips like these and others, reach out to us at [email protected]. And stay tuned for exciting things to come from the Prevention Team this school year around online safety and wellness!
