Our Executive Director, Paul Bancroft, was born and raised in Tahoe and has worked for Sierra Community House for 17 years. His mom Deena (lovingly known as Moth, Mima, or Mima Deena by her closeknit family) was a present and strong female figure throughout his childhood and remains a source of inspiration. We sat down with them in anticipation of Mother’s Day to ask them about parenting and motherhood. Read highlights from their conversation below.
What was it like in Paul’s early childhood?
Paul: So much of who I am and what I have accomplished personally and professionally has deep roots in how I was raised. For years when I was growing up, it was just my mom and sister and me. It was a single parent household at times, and my mom worked half a dozen jobs to keep things working. I admired her strength and determination, even as a really young kid. Now I see that a lot of the qualities I am most proud of in myself came from observing her while growing up.
I am going on 17 years in my role. Many of our staff are strong and effective women leaders. Those early childhood experiences shape how I navigate professionally and show up for the women I work with, and the women our services impact.
Deena: I was only 22 when Paul was born. People talk about children being born as old souls, and I saw that immediately in him. He was the happiest and easiest baby ever. A mellow and easy-to-please little kid.
I saw early on his intrinsic ability to lead and protect. When his sister came along, he protected her too.
As a single mom, I did not struggle in my role as a mother, but I did I struggle running a household and the challenging logistics and stress of life. Paul stepped up and took a lot of the responsibility. He was an amazing big brother and son. That role of “protector” followed him through high school and into young adulthood. So while he would get into typical childhood antics, he always had the wisdom to know when enough was enough.
What inspires you most about your mom?
Paul: My parents centered me even after they split up. This was huge. Their decision to put me first impacted me positively in ways I could not have fully known at the time. For example, having that type of emotional intelligence and selflessness modeled for me at such a young age is something I channel in my current role at Sierra Community House. I prioritize peace and harmony with interpersonal relationships. When different personalities mesh, I can see the common ground and help bring people together.
In some ways, my mom centering me and leading our family with that selfless strength, was a crash course in being an executive director. My mom was the center of our extended family, and an executive director must also be at the center, holding different relationships.
Deena: Yes, my mission was to have that harmonious family and keep my kids in a loving space.
Paul: I guess you could say my mom was mission-driven during my childhood. Her mission was to center her children. Despite the challenges of co-parenting, her mission was us and leading by example in that regard. This has influenced me a lot: it is not always about me; it is about us. That can be true in a household or inside a mission-driven organization like Sierra Community House.
Raising a child in Tahoe is a unique experience, how did Tahoe factor into your parenting?
Deena: I feel fortunate that I could raise my kids in Tahoe surrounded by nature and a small community. That said, I wanted my kids to expand outside of Tahoe too. I wanted them to read, travel, and know the world outside this smaller town. For example, when Paul was in his teens we went to Nepal as a family. It was life changing and formative and I am confident it changed the trajectory of his life in that it instilled gratitude and a sense of obligation to do good in the world.
Paul: What a blessing it is to grow up here in Tahoe. I now get to raise my kids here. The lake, the mountains, the small community, it all creates a sense of place and connection. My roots will always be here in Tahoe. And, that desire for expansion was instilled at an early age: travel and intellectual exploration. That is also important for me now raising my kids here.
I grew up ski racing and going to Alpine every day after school. I now understand what a privilege that was. As a parent of two young kids, I want to instill that same appreciation for Tahoe roots and the desire to look outward into different cultures and communities.
Can you tell us what Paul was like as a child?
Deena: Paul has grown up a lot, but I still see the same old soul he had as a child. When Paul was 8 or 9, he was in a ski program and there was a big race. Kids and parents were in competitor mode and very serious. The skiers zoomed by the group of parents, eyes facing ahead towards the finish line. As Paul approached, he slowed down and waved to the crowd, big smile on his face, making eye contact with everyone who had gathered. He changed the vibe of the gathering for the better and all the families eased into the competition. That was the epitome of who Paul was.
But make no mistake, when the time came for him to step in his ski career and win a race, he could shift gears easily.
Paul: We are not blank slates when we are born. Nature and nurture combine. The nurture that made me who I am was informed by my mom. Mom, you are my biggest influence and role model.
Deena: Paul, I love you more than you even know.
